So last night I rocked you to sleep, and I love when you finally snuggle your head down on me and fall asleep. Things are so busy, I have hardly a moment to myself and I feel stressed and overwhelmed bcs I never get to my pile of to do items… But in spite of that, I try still to take in all the wonderful moments with you, to “stop and smell the roses” on our walks which take a long time just to go around the block! I keep telling Papa it’s not the destination it’s the journey… Stopping to look at every rock and bug is interesting to you and the point is not to hurry but take it all in.
Last night before you went to bed I had to find you new pajamas to wear (bcs your other one got peepee on it, yeah you’re not even two yet don’t feel bad!). The only other nice one was a new pair size 24 months that you haven’t worm yet bcs they’re too big… I’m looking at them thinking “gosh those look big, I cut imagine you ever fitting into them! You’ll be huge the day you fit into them!” But then I remember that that’s the same thing I said about your 6 month pajamas and your 12 month pajamas. And last time we were put on a walk together I looked down at you how short and tiny you were, thinking one day your head will be up to my hip and I won’t even remember you being that tiny anymore.
So last night as you nestled in on me and fell asleep, I grabbed your tiny tiny hand knowing that they won’t always be so tiny tiny, and that you won’t always be falling asleep in my arms, and I just took it all in. I love you so much. Even when you feel overwhelmed, try to stop and take it in. Years from now if I read this, I hope it will help remind me of the moment I took in so that it doesn’t get lost… And years from now if you read this, you’ll know how much I love you… Or maybe you’ll have your own baby and are looking for advice, feeling overwhelmed. No matter what happens I just make sure I try to love every moment as much as I can. The to do list can wait (even though it causes me much anxiety!)… But what would be worse were for you to grow up and I would think gee I wish I had taken more time to enjoy things when you were tiny.
So last week you started to say your own name! It’s so cute, you say “Eba”, and that’s how the kids in the class call you too. When I come to drop you off the kids say “Eba!”, kind of like they say “Norm!” on Cheers. (that’s a TV show from the 90’s)
So one morning (I think it was Tuesday April 5th) I was changing your diaper on the changing table, you were laying on your back and you put your hand to your chest and patted it saying “Eba”! Then you took your hand and patted my chest and said” mama”! You’re so smart, I was very impressed. I love you so much! 🙂
There are so many wonderful, truly amazing moments I share with you, I mean to write them all down so as to remember them always, but sometimes, somehow just enjoying that moment fully and not worrying about a photo, video or even a memoir, makes it even more special.
You love saying the word yellow! And “I got you!”, and “I see you!”… So cute. I still love your “I love you” ‘s too of course! You can also say, help, shoe, sock, kick, pull, Dora, dance, walk…
You watch Dora in French and you love seeing Shiper, spotting him and pointing him out! Then holding out your hand to tell him to stop. You also love the “ubbies” and especially when they do their dance you love watching me and Papa do the dance, or even you sometimes try to do it with us! 🙂
So last week, around St. Patrick’s day maybe, you said “I love you!” for the first time!
First, you said it once in the morning as I was putting you in your car seat to go to school… I has said it to you (like I very often do!) and you repeated it. I didn’t think too much of it because I knew you were just copying me, and likely didn’t know what it meant.
Then you said it at dinner a couple if days later, while we were Web camping with gramps! It was so cute, you still repeated it after me but you kept saying it over and over! Grampa was delighted to hear it! I called Papa over to hear it as well. You also said it in the bathtub while we were webcamming with Grampa – you’ve gotten quite good at saying it!
Then you said it to me in the mornings without me saying it first, and you stretched your arms out and said “hug” after saying it, so I think that’s when I thought you might even know what it means now! But you will never ever know how so much I love you, until you have a baby of your own!
There you go
Sunday, Nov. 25th, 2015 at St. Joan of Arc Fall Fair
You LOVED the fair! At first you were a little hesitant and looking around without much expression on your face.. you went on the Banana ride, teacups, spinning apples, merry-go-round, Ferris Wheel and probably your favourite – the gigantic slide!!!
You loved the ferris wheel an the slide a lot, squeeling with delight sometimes! Your face was all smiles going down the big slide, it was magnificent to watch! Warmed my heart so much. And you LOVED the stuffed animals, omg! You pointed at them all the time and wanted to touch them all! some of them were so big too, they were 10 times bigger than you!
We got home late and you were pretty tired… I don’t think you wanted to leave! You slept all the way through the night, I guess you were really pooped out after that exciting afternoon!
We love you so much!!!!
Sometimes I think I’m not a good enough mom. I know I’m a good mom, but that I’m not good enough or that I could be better. I talked with my friend Jane today and she thinks it’s completely normal and that all moms feel that way. I agree.
Just that the other night i had a terrible migraine and finally went to bed at night, and you started to wake up and cry a little in the middle of the night and I remember thinking “please please please don’t wake up, my head is killing me I cannot get up and rock you to sleep for an hour right now” and I was filled with dread. But then I felt bad that I even thought that, even though my head was hurting so badly and I was really cold and tired.
I guess we’re only human, and we get tired and need to take care of ourselves as moms too. So even though I feel bad that I thought that, I know it’s probably normal and natural. And I love you!
Oh my goodness, you were a sick one today 😦 You got a stomach bug and threw up 6 times, my poor thing. But you were a champ, and in good spirits, other than not being able to keep any food down and being a bit scared or confused about what was happening when your stomach decided to throw up.
They called me at school at lunch that you threw up, but I thought it was maybe just you gagging on some food bcs sometimes that happens. But then they called again at 3pm. I left work to go get you and you threw up one more time before I got there. You also then three up while I was picking you up. And then you threw up a lot after supper. And again as I was putting you to sleep. But the next day you were as good as new, yay!
So today you spent most of the day walking at daycare! And you even walked a little bit for us at home! (you were always sitting down whenever we would try with you before).
It is SO cool to see you walk on your own two feet all by yourself! I can’t explain the feeling, it’s just SO COOL!!!!! And to see how excited you are because you know you’re doing something new and cool! What a joy it is to see you growing and learning. 😊